poutinedragon:

thymelord:

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

The immune system: We’re gonna die? Not before I kill us first!

(via thememeheart)

hungwy:

hungwy:

In my mind I’m constantly doing yoshi’s down+b noise

BRRRRING HÆH

(via hungwy)

pkmntrainerfixc:

me, a harmless beepdeep shipper: salutations

AN EVIL SJW:

(via thememeheart)

swordfeeler:

e-seal:

swordfeeler:

e-seal:

e-seal:

Being so smart is a curse

People always ask me: “what is 2+5?”

Easy

what is 2+5, ren?

😏

😨

(Source: e-seal, via hungwy)

captain-raptor:

killowave-the-2nd:

there are so many fucking layers of obscurity to this joke i feel like i’ve learned another language just by looking at it

(via ruinedchildhood)

karnalesbian:

mean-bean-machines:

karnalesbian:

arrowquillpokemon:

miasmicsiren:

arrowquillpokemon:

game: has any kind of elemental based fighting system

me: apply pokemon logic

To be fair Pokemon element logic is rooted in normal logic.

yeah, everyone knows a wrestlers biggest weakness is the local pigeons

go outside and try to suplex a bird

tell me how bug resists fighting

go outside and try to suplex a bug

(via thememeheart)

neilcicierega:

dutchster:

my-little-mod-blog:

averagedopeydope:

uskftw:

all1sees:

division

square roots

dividing percentages

IT EVEN FOILS

beautiful.

i just checked ALL of these on my calculator and they are all correct

all. fucking. correct.

DAYUM, SON! IF ONLY THIS WAS AVIALABLE WHEN I WAS ON SCHOOL >:(

HAH! You kids. When I was in school, it wouldn’t help because we still used Roman numerals back then!

AHAHAHAHAHA-

oh my god

i’ll just be over here shutting the fuck up right about now

you can even solve geometric problems

or plot graphs

even 3D graphs!!!

Yeah, but can it-

Oh

(via thememeheart)

(Source: shelgon, via ruinedchildhood)

unabashedlybi:

heauxsettastoned:

parthenogenon:

blackswallowtailbutterfly:

10knotes:

This regenerative candle creates a new candle as it melts. 

This is brilliant

This is very good.

This is meddling with forces we have yet to fully comprehend.

It’s wax.

(Source: thecreatorsproject, via confirmance)

(Source: cinquespotted, via thememeheart)

(Source: viniumsabbathi, via confirmance)

mistressdratha:

7andaswitch-blade:

bidoof:

new style: cowboy from the waist up, goth from the waist down

reach out touch faith

(via snortingpixy)

mxxn-kitten:

vampire-kohai:

mxxn-kitten:

stonedlilbrat:

mxxn-kitten:

Me- I don’t wanna go to class today. I feel out of it

*classes is cancelled *

Me- God???? Is that you???

Me: I️ don’t want to go to work today

Boss:

(Looks like God’s got both our backs today)

Bless this day ❤️❤️❤️

I swear this post is blessed or something because I said “I want a reason to go somewhere” while looking at this post and then pretty much just after, my mother asked me to go to the store to get some eggs since I used the last 2

Reblog this post to get something you want

(via confirmance)

(Source: wonderytho, via thememeheart)

siniristiriita:

borbamenas:

borbamenas:

duality

the surgery was a success.. the boy is complete

Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy’s first law of Equivalent Exchange.

(via babylonian)